Snickers

Infamous is today the 24th and 1/2 century for its great shortage of the element illudium phosdax, which was in fact a major driver in the exploration and colonization of Mars by the inhabitants of Earth. Early on, satellites had detected a great abundance of the element embedded in the surface of the planet, with the highest concentrations being found in the lush rainforests of the Argyre Basin. Isn’t that lovely?

The first to explore these uncharted forests was the astronaut D. Dodgers, where he made contact with the snickers (Lunitunus ridiculus), a diminutive species of ushabti. Like its larger relatives, it walks on two upright legs and has a single arm, though there are many things which set it apart. First there are the large fans of feather-scales, which form a sort of flowery “skirt” around the hip area. One presumes that this is a sort of display feature. Then there is the head, which is rather unique among the onychognaths. Mostly spherical in shape, its bony rims and brows give the appearance of a helmet. The mouth underneath the two large eyes is small and the same colour as the face, making it almost invisible. As in its larger relatives, its antennae are on top of the head, but uniquely aligned in a central line, their ends forming a bristle.

Dodgers’ first encounter with these aliens was unplanned and greatly hindered him at discovering an access to the illudium phosdax hotspots. At first, the creatures were simply curious, being for some reason greatly interested in his shoes. But then Dodgers, greatly annoyed, kicked one of the creatures, which made them very angry. Very angry indeed! A whole host of snickers descended upon Dodgers, who was unable to defend himself, as his disintegrating pistol had earlier disintegrated itself. Dodgers had no choice but to retreat back to his vehicle, where the escape was further halted by a malfunction of the ship’s AI. Oh drat, these computers! They are so naughty and complex; I could pinch them.

Dodgers gave his space-mining administration the recommendation to neutralise the site for easier access by utilizing an Illudium Pu-36 Explosive Space Modulator, but this was rejected as the force of such a weapon would surely result in a mars-shattering kaboom. However, we Kaldanes, now that we have infiltrated the humans’ bases and expunged them from our home, have taken a great liking to Dodgers’ suggestion, though we would rather prefer administering the Illudium Pu-36 Explosive Space Modulator with Earth as a target. It has been obstructing our view of lovely Venus for far too long now.